When I set out to be more present in the month of May, I never realized the amount of emotions and thoughts that this would bring up! I think because I’m closing out my final chapter of life here in Nashville, I have become hyper-aware of the beauty that is around me.
Have I lost you already with my sappiness and nostalgia? Yeah, I thought so. What is it about impending change that makes us so nostalgic for the past? Is it an unwillingness to try something new? A need to cling on to what is old and familiar? A realization that our time here is short and fleeting?
For me, I think most of the nostalgia comes from a fear of the unknown. And when I say fear, I don’t mean the kind that is gut-wrenching, earth-shattering, paralyzing and all-consuming – I mean more of a subtle uneasiness. I’m not one of those people who thrives on adventure, and likes to be constantly flitting from one thing to the next. I’m more of a rules-and-routines kind of girl (which I come by honestly – thanks Mom and Dad!) I’m the Monica Geller to life’s more free-spirited Phoebes and Joeys.
So being present in May, and being present in Nashville and in my everyday life, has opened my eyes to how many little routines and habits I have picked up in my time here. I have my coffeeshops, and my grocery store, and my carpool lines, and my restaurants and movie theater and shops and gas stations – all things that I will be leaving.
Not that I’m not familiar with Louisville, obviously – I lived there for the first eighteen years of my life. But it will be a big adjustment to move home, become a student again, give up my work-from-home lifestyle, travel to England for a month, and start my practicum – all at once! That’s a lot of change for one girl.
But change is good. Change makes you grow. It opens your eyes to new adventures, and new possibilities, and new friends and new experiences – new habits and routines. So what’s one thing that being more present in May has taught me so far? Appreciate your surroundings…but always be open to what comes next.